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Understanding and Facilitating Preschool Children's Peer
Acceptance
by Kristen M. Kemple
Peer Acceptance and Children's Behavior
Children's understanding of emotional expressions and situations has been found
to relate to how well peers like or dislike them. A study at George Mason University
suggests that well-liked children are better able than other children to read and
respond to peers' emotions. Disliked children may misinterpret peers' emotions,
leading to difficult interactions and eventual rejection by peers.
In general, positive behaviors, such as cooperation, are associated with being
accepted by peers, and antisocial behaviors, such as aggression, are associated with being
rejected. This is confirmed by recent studies identifying characteristics and
behaviors related to being liked or disliked by peers.
Good communication is a skill important to the continuation of social play. Well-liked
children appear to communicate better than disliked children. In a study at the
University of Texas, well-liked children were more likely than others to be clear in direct
communications by saying the other child's name, establishing eye contact, or touching
the child they intended to address. Well-liked children more often replied appropriately to children who spoke to
them, rather than ignoring the speaker, changing the subject, or saying something irrelevant.
While well-liked children were not any less prone to reject peers' communications
toward them, they were more likely to offer a reason for the rejection or suggest
alternatives. For example, in rejecting a peer's suggestion--"Let's pretend we are hiding
from the witch"--a well-liked child was more likely to say, "No, we played that
yesterday," or, "No, let's be robbers instead," rather than just saying, "No."
Peer Acceptance and Social Reputation
It is important to recognize the role of the peer group in maintaining a child's level of
social acceptance. Once a child has established a reputation among peers either as someone with whom it is fun to
play or as someone with whom joint play is unpleasant or dissatisfying, this reputation
may influence the way other children perceive the child's later behavior. If a
negative reputation is developed, helping the child become accepted may require more than a
change in the child's behavior; it may also be necessary to point out to the other
children when the child's behavior changes and to guide them to respond to the child
in positive ways.
How Can Teachers and Other Adults Help?
Studies such as those mentioned above suggest important elements to be considered by those who wish to
understand why a particular child is unpopular and need to decide what to do to help that child gain
social acceptance. To assist a disliked child in gaining acceptance, careful, informed
observation is needed.
Observe behavior and note: Does the child have greater success interacting with one or
two peers than with larger groups? Does the child often seem to misinterpret
the apparent intentions and emotional cues of other children? When rejecting a
playmate's suggestion, does the child provide a reason or an alternative idea? Do
classmates consistently rebuff or ignore the child's attempts to engage in play, even
when the child is using strategies that should work? There is no recipe for facilitating
acceptance. To help a child, it is essential to identify the child's areas of difficulty.
Strategies to Consider
Adults who work with groups of children may feel frustrated in their attempts to
help a child achieve social acceptance. Many approaches can be adapted to particular
situations and needs of individual children. Special play activities can be arranged,
such as grouping children who lack social skills with those who are socially competent
and will thus provide examples for learning effective skills. Planning special
play sessions with a younger child may help the socially isolated child. Research reports
that socially isolated preschoolers exposed to play sessions with pairs of younger
children eventually become more socially involved in the class than do isolated
children who play with children of their own age. The decision to pair a child with a
younger or more socially skilled child should depend on whether the child's social
isolation is due to ineffective social skills or lack of confidence. Some children have
adequate social skills, but are anxious and inhibited about using them. Opportunities
to be the big guy in play with a younger child may give the inhibited child a needed boost
of social confidence.
Sometimes disliked children behave aggressively because they don't know how to resolve conflicts. Planned activities can
help children generate alternative solutions to difficult social situations. Skits, puppet
shows, or group discussions that present hypothetical situations can encourage a
wide range of ideas for potential solutions. Such methods can increase the number of
appropriate strategies, such as taking turns or sharing, that are available to the
children. However, to effectively implement such newly learned strategies in the classroom,
children must be given on-the-spot guidance when real conflict situations occur.
To help with conflict resolution, the adult can encourage the children involved to voice
their perspectives, generate potential solutions, and jointly decide on and implement a mutually acceptable solution.
When a child has difficulty entering ongoing play, an adult can steer the child toward
smaller or more accepting groups, or can structure the environment to include
inviting spaces for private small group or one-on-one play. A loft, a tent, or a large
empty box might make an inviting space. When a child asks, "Can I play?" the teacher can
guide the child in observing the ongoing play, figuring out the group's theme and
purpose, and thinking of a role to play or of ways to contribute to the group.
On-the-spot guidance by adults can facilitate communication, which contributes
to successful play. A child who rejects playmates' ideas without offering explanations or alternatives could be told,
"Ben I don't think Tom understands why you don't want to play store. Can you tell him why?"
or "Can you tell him what else you could do together?" A disliked child having
difficulty reading others' emotional cues might be given a suggestion--"Look at
Mary's face. Do you think she likes it when you poke her?"
In addition to using techniques that focus on the disliked child, adults may need to
translate for the peer group the unpopular child's behavior and apparent intentions.
For example, an adult might say, "Thomas wants to play with you. If you don't need
another father, who could he be instead?" However, when intervention focuses on the
peer group, adults should not force peers to play with a disliked child. This may cause
resentment and increase rejection of the child.
The teacher's attempts to help a disliked child find a comfortable niche in the peer
group may prove more successful if the child's family is involved, either directly or
indirectly. After describing to the parent what techniques are being tried in the
classroom, the teacher may suggest how the parent can use some of the strategies
to help the child play with peers at home or interact with siblings. Children who feel
good about themselves and experience loving family relationships may bring their
expectations of acceptance and success to the peer group. Such expectations can
become self-fulfilling prophecies.
For the child whose poor self-concept reflects difficulties in the child's family,
parent conferences in which the teacher can offer support may be helpful. Literature on such
topics as positive discipline and effective parent-child interaction can be offered on a
parent reading shelf or bulletin board. Parent discussion groups, facilitated by a
knowledgeable professional, can provide information about the importance of social
competence and guidance strategies that can help parents facilitate their child's
development.
~~~~~~~~~~
For more information
Denham, S.A., McKinley, M., Couchoud, E. A., & Holt, R.
(1990). Emotional and Behavioral Predictors of Preschool Peer Ratings.
Child Development, 61, 1145-1152.
Furman, W., Rahe, D., & Hartup, W. W. (1979). Rehabilitation of Socially Withdrawn
Preschool Children Through Mixed-Age and Same-Age Socialization. Child Development,
50, 915-922.
Hazen, N. L., & Black, B. (1989). Preschool Peer Communication Skills: The Role of Social
Status and Interaction Context. Child Development, 60, 867-876.
Hazen, N. L., Black, B., & Fleming-Johnson, F.
(1984). Social Acceptance: Strategies Children Use and How Teachers
Can Help Children Learn Them. Young Children, 39, 23-26.
Kemple, K. M., Speranza, H., & Hazen, N. L. (in press). Cohesive Discourse and Peer Acceptance: Longitudinal Relationships in
the Preschool Years. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly.
Rogers, D. L. & Ross, D. D. (1986). Encouraging Positive Social Interaction Among
Children. Young Children, 41,
12-17.
Spivack, G. & Shure, M. (1974). Social Adjustment of Young Children: a Cognitive Approach to Solving Real-life
Problems.
San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Stein, L. C. & Kostelnik, M. J. (1984). A Practical Problem-Solving Model for Conflict
Resolution in the Classroom. Child Care Quarterly, 13, 5-20.
~~~~~~~~~~
© 1992, ERIC
Clearinghouse
on Elementary and Early Childhood Education
The Educational Resources
Information Center (ERIC) is a national information system designed to
provide users with ready access to an extensive body of education-related
literature. The ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood
Education (ERIC/EECE) contributes to the database in the areas of
child development, the education and care of children from birth through
early adolescence, the teaching of young children, and parenting and
family life.
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