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The Role of Parents in the Development of Peer Group
Competence
by Shirley G. Moore
As a child leaves infancy and approaches toddlerhood, one of the tasks parents face
is introducing the child to the peer group. To be sure, parents are interested in their
child's earliest interactions with peers, but in time, parents become more seriously
invested in their children's ability to get along with playmates. Getting along has
different meanings for different parents, but in general, parents want their child to enjoy
the company of other children, be liked by them, be well-behaved in their presence
(for example, share and cooperate with them), and resist the influence of companions who are overly boisterous,
aggressive or defiant of adult authority.
How do parents help their child become a socially competent, well-liked playmate who
is not too easily influenced by ill-behaved peers? What do we know from research literature in this area? Inasmuch
as peer relations is only one of many social relationships that a child must
master, it is not surprising that research on parenting styles gives some helpful insights
into development of social skills in the peer group. A number of investigators, such as
Diana Baumrind, Martin Hoffman, and Martha Putallaz, have made significant contributions to this topic.
The research of Diana Baumrind is particularly noteworthy. Baumrind has published a series of studies on the relation
between parental child rearing styles and social competence in children of preschool and
school age. Data on nursery school children were obtained from observations in a school
setting and in laboratory test situations when the children were approximately four
to five years of age. Data on the children's parents were obtained through home
observations and interviews of both mothers and fathers. Three contrasting parenting
styles were identified by Baumrind: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative,
each of which has implications for the child's social competence with peers and adults. The
three parenting styles differ particularly on two parenting dimensions: the amount of
nurturance in child-rearing interactions and the amount of parental control over the
child's activities and behavior.
Authoritarian parents tend to be low in nurturance and high in parental control
compared with other parents. They set absolute standards of behavior for their children that
are not to be questioned or negotiated. They favor forceful discipline and demand
prompt obedience. Authoritarian parents also are less likely than others to use more
gentle methods of persuasion, such as affection, praise and rewards, with their
children. Consequently, authoritarian parents are prone to model the more aggressive
modes of conflict resolution and are lax in modeling affectionate, nurturant behaviors
in their interactions with their children.
In sharp contrast, permissive parents tend to be moderate-to-high in nurturance, but
low in parental control. These parents place relatively few demands on their
children and are likely to be inconsistent disciplinarians. They are accepting of the
child's impulses, desires, and actions and are less likely than other parents to monitor their
children's behavior. Although their children tend to be friendly, sociable youngsters,
compared with others their age they lack a knowledge of appropriate behaviors for
ordinary social situations and take too little responsibility for their own misbehavior.
Authoritative parents, in contrast to both authoritarian and permissive parents, tend
to be high in nurturance and moderate in parental control when it comes to dealing
with child behavior. It is this combination of parenting strategies that Baumrind and
others find the most facilitative in the development of social competence during
early childhood and beyond. The following discussion describes specific behaviors used
by authoritative parents and the role these behaviors play in fostering social
development.
The Case for High Nurturance
Nurturing behaviors of parents that predict social competence include affectionate and
friendly interaction with the child; consideration for the child's feelings,
desires and needs; interest in the child's daily activities; respect for the child's
points of view; expression of parental pride in the child's accomplishments; and support and
encouragement during times of stress in the child's life.
The advantages of high levels of nurturance in fostering social development have been
confirmed again and again in studies of children. These advantages begin in infancy, when maternal nurturance
facilitates a secure attachment which, in turn, predicts social competence, and continue throughout
childhood. High levels of nurturance in child rearing virtually assure more positive
adult-child interactions than negative ones in the day-to-day operations of family life.
This, in turn, predisposes the child to return love to the parent and to enjoy
spending time with the parent, thus increasing the possibilities of significant
parental influence throughout childhood. Parental nurturance also motivates the child to
please the parent by striving to live up to parental expectations and helps to keep the child
from hurting or disappointing the loved parent. Because children more readily
identify with nurturant than nonnurturant models, the children of nurturing parents are more
likely to incorporate parental values, such as considerateness and fairness in
interpersonal relations, into their own lifestyle. One would also expect these
children to resist peer group values that are clearly different from family values.
If there is a downside to high levels of nurturance in child rearing, it is the risk
that nurturant parents might be more lax than other parents in challenging their children
to measure up to developmentally appropriate standards for behavior. This risk
would appear to be reduced, however, by the authoritative parents' inclination to combine
moderate levels of parental control with nurturance.
The Case of Moderate Control
Nurturant parents who maintain at least a moderate level of control over their child do
not give up their right to set behavioral standards for the child and to convey the
importance of compliance with those standards. To facilitate compliance, and as
a courtesy to the child, authoritative parents offer reasons and explanations for the
demands placed on their children. Evidence suggests that such a practice increases the
child's understanding of rules and regulations, eventually making it possible
for the child to monitor his or her behavior in the absence of the parent.
Parents who use authoritative child rearing practices often use positive
reinforcers, such as praise, approval, and rewards, to increase the child's compliance with
behavioral standards. The success of positive social reinforcement in producing
desirable behavior is legendary. A parent's positive response to good behavior may be the most
powerful tool the parent has for increasing child compliance and decreasing the need for disciplinary action.
When misbehavior does occur and discipline is deemed necessary, authoritative parents
show a preference for "rational-inductive discipline," in which both sides of an issue are stated and a just
solution is sought. These parents also prefer "consequence-oriented discipline" in which
children are expected to make up for their wrongdoing. Martin Hoffman points out
that this disciplinary strategy has the advantage of focusing the child's attention
on the plight of the victim rather than on the child's plight at the hands of an angry
parent.
Finally, authoritative parents try to avoid the more extreme forms of punishment in
rearing their children. They do not favor harsh physical punishment or put-downs,
such as ridicule or negative social comparison, which attack the child's sense
of personal worth. Although the harsher forms of punishment can be effective in the short
run, they often generate resentment and hostility that carry over to the school and
peer group, reducing the child's effectiveness in these settings.
Summary
In parenting, as in other endeavors, nothing works all of the time. It is safe to say,
however, that authoritative parenting works better than most other parenting styles in
facilitating the development of social competence in children at home and in the
peer group. High levels of nurturance combined with moderate levels of control help adults
be responsible child rearing agents for their children and help children become
mature, competent members of society. With a little bit of luck, the children of
authoritative parents should enjoy more than their share of success in the peer
group.
~~~~~~~~~~
For more information
Baumrind, D. (1971). Current Patterns of Parental Authority. Developmental
Psychology Monographs, 4, 1-103.
Hoffman, M.L. (1975). Moral Internationalization, Parental Power, and the Nature of
Parent-Child Interaction. Developmental Psychology, 11, 228-239. EJ 116
432.
Putallaz, M. (1987). Maternal Behavior and Children's Sociometric
Status. Child Development, 58, 324-340. EJ 354 567.
NOTE: Citations with EJ numbers are journal articles cited in the ERIC database. They can be obtained at a research library,
through interlibrary loan, or from an article reprint service.
General
references on peer relations
Asher, S.R., and Coie, J.D. Eds. (1990). Peer Rejection in
Childhood. New York: Cambridge University Press.
Ramsey, P.G. (1991). Making
Friends in School: Promoting Peer Relationships in Early Childhood.
New York: Teacher's College Press.
NOTE: Citations with EJ numbers are journal articles cited in the ERIC database. They can be obtained at a
research library, through interlibrary loan, or from an article reprint service.
~~~~~~~~~~
© 1992, ERIC
Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education
The Educational Resources Information Center (ERIC) is a national information system designed to provide users with
ready access to an extensive body of education-related literature. The ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early
Childhood Education (ERIC/EECE) contributes to the database in the areas of child development, the education and care of children from birth
through early adolescence, the teaching of young children, and parenting and family life.
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