I am often asked by the parents of a child with NLD if I would
recommend homeschooling for their child, or if I think they should pull
their child out of public school for a period of time, until an
appropriate program is developed for their child within the system. The
following article is not a philosophical argument for or against the
concept of homeschooling. It is simply written to give parents information
which will help guide them in deciding whether this choice is right for
their particular situation.
Introduction: Factors to consider when making the decision to
homeschool your child with NLD.
Most of the parents of older children with NLD I have worked with, or
have spoken to, have, at some point in their child's schooling, taken
their child out of public school for varying lengths of time. The primary
reason cited for taking this action was the need to shelter their child
from the emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse suffered at school as
the limitations of NLD became more prevalent. This time away from school
was seen as necessary for the child's emotional survival, in cases where
school officials were unwilling and/or unable to recognize and provide
accommodations for the student with NLD. The need for homeschooling
occurred more often, of course, prior to so much information becoming
available about NLD and appropriate interventions for the child with NLD
in the school setting. Whether or not homeschooling is the right option
for your child depends upon a variety of factors. However, the main
factors influencing your decision are likely to be:
1. The level of success (or trauma) your child is
currently experiencing in his present educational program and placement and
the openness and flexibility of the educational team currently working
with your child.
2. Your child's current emotional state and
the impact attending school is having upon his emotional well-being:
Your child's health and well-being should always be your top priority!
However, in making this determination you should keep in mind,
homeschooling, in and of itself, will not cure your child's
social/emotional issues. In fact, homeschooling could actually
exacerbate your child's problems in these areas, if he is isolated from
his peers and other adults for an indefinite period of time.
3. Your own circumstances (job(s), finances,
other children and other family responsibilities): You should seriously
consider the impact this decision will have upon other areas of your
life. It may mean that one or both parents will need to quit working or
take a leave from your current job(s). This could have an enormous
bearing on your family's financial situation. Homeschooling requires
tremendous time, effort and sacrifice on the part of both parents and
other family members.
4. Your level of patience and your teaching
skills: Homeschooling requires specific knowledge and skills (most
public school teachers have spent a minimum of five years in college,
acquiring their skills, as well as years of practical experience honing
their craft). The decision to homeschool your child will require a bit
of research, and it may require further education and training on your
part.
Scenarios which may lead the parents of a child with NLD to consider
homeschooling:
Scenario 1: Your child is currently attending school, but it is
becoming more and more difficult for her to go to school each day owing to
an inappropriate educational program or placement.
I have had student clients with NLD who describe getting up and going
to school each day as "sheer torture." I know they are not
exaggerating (individuals with NLD don't exaggerate). The school
environment will indeed be hostile and uninviting, if the school staff
does not recognize and accommodate a child's neurological deficits. One
mother told me she felt as though she were "sending her child off to
prison each morning." After observing and meeting with the staff at
her daughter's school, I realized she was not over-reacting to her
daughter's situation. This child was continuously being berated and
punished at school for behavior which resulted from her neurological
incompetencies.
If your child is experiencing undue abuse and trauma while in school,
the idea of homeschooling (for protective reasons) has probably crossed
your mind. If your child is developing symptoms of depression and/or
anxiety as a result of her treatment at school, your main priority must
always be her health and well-being. However, rather than impulsively
pulling her out of school without careful planning, consider taking the
following steps first:
Meet with the school staff to voice your concerns. Cite specific
examples of inappropriate staff responses to your child at school which
have contributed to her current plight. Also, be sure to document your
concerns in writing. Insist that an appropriate educational program be
developed for your child. If the district personnel refuse to provide your
child with a free appropriate public education, you should realize
they are breaking the law. You can ask to mediate your concerns and/or
file for an administrative hearing.
If your child already has an IEP, 504 Plan, and/or a BIP which is not
being properly implemented at her school, consider filing a compliance
complaint with the State Department of Education. A complaint filed with
OCR (Office of Civil Rights) can also lead to an investigation which may
force the district to take corrective action. Advocacy groups such as CASE
(Community Alliance for Special Education) and PAI (Protection and
Advocacy, Inc.) will help you to follow through with these courses of
action.
Enlist the aid of your child's pediatrician, psychiatrist and/or
therapist. Often the same school officials who will not give any credence
to a parent's concerns, will, in fact, listen to an outside professional.
Don't be reticent about asking for this type of help if your child is
suffering abuse at school.
Research private and nonpublic schools in your area. If you find one
that meets your child's unique needs, consider what it would take to place
her at this school. Remember, if the public school has failed to provide a
free appropriate education for your child, they could very well end-up
footing the bill for a private institution that will provide an
appropriate educational program. Unfortunately, there are currently an
insufficient number of programs available anywhere that meet the
unique educational needs of the student with NLD. But, a few such
placements do exist. And, the good news is, an ever increasing
number of schools are seeking out information about how to work more
effectively with students with NLD.
If, after exhausting the options above, you still don't see enough
positive changes occurring for your child at school, homeschooling may be
your only solution, for the moment. Some parents prefer to look at
homeschooling as a short-term, emergency stopgap measure, while they
continue to work with their school district officials to develop a more
appropriate educational program for their child. And, other parents are
left with such a bad taste in their mouths from the underhanded and
unethical tactics utilized by some school districts, they resolve to
homeschool their child on a permanent basis. Either way, be sure to
research homeschooling thoroughly before making your decision, possibly
utilizing some of the resources listed at the end of this article.
Scenario 2: Your child is not currently attending school. Your
child has attended school until recently and seemed fairly content. Then a
traumatic incidence at school and/or a series of traumatic occurrences at
school precipitated his refusal to return to school.
School phobia and agoraphobia are medically significant conditions,
forms of anxiety and panic disorders, which are often experienced by a
student with NLD. These conditions can be triggered by a traumatic
incident at school and/or a series of traumatic occurrences at school.
Some of my colleagues and I have begun using the term "school
traumatic stress" to describe the heightened level of anxiety which
overwhelms a child with NLD who has been traumatized by an incident or
incidents occurring at their school as a result of poor educational
planning. If your child is not currently attending school, but has
attended until recently and was fairly content with his program until a
traumatic incident and/or a series of traumatic occurrences prompted his
refusal to return to school, and he expresses a desire to return to
school, you may want to consider the following options:
1. Before pulling your child out of school for good, request
temporary home instruction. You will need verification from your child's
physician that his absences are medically based. The school district is
then required to provide instruction for your child by a credentialed
teacher in your home, while he recuperates from the trauma he has
suffered and his doctor okays his return to school.
2. While your child is receiving home instruction, work with school
officials to develop a humane reentry plan for your child that everyone
agrees to follow. This may mean your child returns to school on a
limited basis for a period of time (an hour a day, three days a week - -
or whatever works) and then gradually increases the amount of time he is
in school, to ensure a successful, non-threatening reentry. Make-up work
should not be heaped upon the student when he returns. An alternative
means to measure competencies should be developed. School personnel may
also need to allow the student to telephone his parent(s) several times
a day, until he feels comfortable without this contact. A calm and
caring attitude by all staff members will help the student overcome his
fears. Most school districts would prefer that students be in school and
will have no objections to such a plan. However, unfortunately, there
are districts which will balk at providing for an individual child's
needs. They are ignoring Special Education law and legal action can be
taken, if a school district refuses to develop a compassionate reentry
plan for your child. You should discuss your individual child's
situation with an advocacy agency or an educational advocate.
3. Make sure you remain in touch with your child's physician while
your child is homebound (if the triggering incident at school was
extremely traumatizing, your child may be unable to leave your house
even to see his doctor). Untreated agoraphobia can lead to depression.
And untreated depression can lead to suicide. Don't assume that just
because your child is no longer attending school, all of his problems
have been alleviated.
If, after a period of home instruction, it appears your child will be
unable to return to school for quite some time, or you determine that
returning your child to school could continue to endanger his health and
well being, you may decide you need to homeschool him. Be sure to research
homeschooling thoroughly, using the resources at the end of this article.
Thorough preparation will make it easier for you to get started.
Scenario 3: Your child is not currently attending school, and
hasn't attended school for quite some time. You have tried diligently to
work with your school district to develop an appropriate program for your
child, to no avail.
With this scenario, a plan for homeschooling seems in order, but only if
this is something you're prepared to take on. Stalling is a game some
school districts play very well. They figure if they don't provide an
appropriate education for your child for long enough, eventually you will
be forced to step in and do their job for them. You cannot afford to let
your child become the sacrificial pawn in these devious games. Long after
you formally sever your relationships with your public school district,
your child may still be in need of a therapy program to counteract the
damage done while he was attending school. In addition, you may want to
consider the following suggestions:
1. An important concept to keep in mind when
beginning to homeschool a child who has stopped attending school, and
who currently suffers from "school traumatic stress," is the
real need this child has for decompression time - sometimes for several
months or more! Plan to start out slowly, spending time relaxing with
your child while reading aloud, taking field trips, nature walks,
baking, painting, constructing, pursuing hobbies and projects, and
playing games, to help ease the transition. Trust and mutual respect are
the two most important ingredients for a successful homeschooling
experience. It will take time and space to renew your child's
confidence, so she can begin learning again. Let her have plenty of
leeway to express herself in her own way.
2. Be sure you continue to deal with your
child's trauma issues, along with her academic progress. Remember:
homeschooling will not automatically resolve all of your concerns about
your child. Without appropriate interventions, your child's anxiety can
actually increase, even though the source of her current anxiety has
been eliminated. Most parents report a tremendous lowering in stress
levels (for both parents and child) once they remove their child with
NLD from the trauma of their current public school setting. However,
this does not necessarily do away with the child's need for therapy.
3. Realize that homeschooling requires
preparation and dedication on your part. Be sure to check out some of
the resources at the end of this article to help you prepare for this
job. And, don't be hesitant to ask your school district to compensate
you for your time and energy. You are doing their job for them.
They forced you into this position by their failure to provide a free
appropriate public education for your child.
Case studies of students with NLD who have been homeschooled for
varying periods of time:
Harley
The complexities of social interactions became more and more difficult
for Harley, a very intelligent child with NLD, as he progressed through
the grade levels of public school. Finally, in sixth grade, Harley simply
refused to return to his public school after Christmas break. He couldn't
handle being singled-out and picked-on throughout the day, anymore. His
parents report that "tears and tantrums" had become a nightly
episode for Harley. His teachers were not making the accommodations which
were necessary for him to be successful in school. Harley suffered
harassment from both peers and school staff who were unfamiliar with his
neurological incompetencies.
Harley's mother, who already had a background in religious education,
researched homeschooling and decided the best option for Harley, at that
time, would be to teach him at home. She then withdrew Harley from the
public school. The stress level at their home dropped considerably during
this time, his mother reports. She joined-up with other parents who had
formed a network in their area for children being homeschooled. The
homeschool program his mother developed for Harley emphasized success, as
opposed to the constant failure he had been experiencing at school.
This plan worked well for Harley until his mother developed health
problems which required hospitalization. Then, she knew it would be
necessary for Harley to return to regular school. His parents placed him
in a small private school, while they continued to work with their local
school district, with the help of an educational advocate and an attorney,
to develop an appropriate educational program which would ensure a
successful reentry for Harley.
Mona
Although considered precocious and gifted as a young child, Mona began
experiencing difficulties early on in school. During first grade at her
local public school she was sent out of class for remedial reading
instruction. By third grade, her mother reports, Mona was out of class for
more time than she was actually in class. And something else was beginning
to worry her mother: Mona was becoming more and more withdrawn. An
assessment at school determined Mona was "bright and should be able
to do grade level work." The school assessment team called Mona
"passive/resistive." The IEP team determined she did not have a
learning disability, but declared Mona to be severely emotionally
disturbed (SED) because of her emotional withdrawal.
Mona's parents were not willing to accept the SED label and took their
daughter for an outside assessment. IQ testing revealed a 27 point
discrepancy between her verbal and performance IQ's. A clinical
psychologist diagnosed her as having NLD. Frustrated by the school
district's lack of understanding about their daughter's condition, her
parents took Mona out of public school and placed her in a parochial
school for her fourth grade year. But, Mona still experienced difficulty
keeping up with the required written assignments and she couldn't copy
from the board. Her parents saw little progress at the parochial school
and Mona continued to develop symptoms of depression.
After one year at the parochial school, her parents sent Mona to a
special private school for students with learning disabilities. She
attended that school for two years, until the end of sixth-grade. During
this time Mona's parents participated in numerous meetings with school
district officials seeking to find an appropriate placement for their
daughter within their school district. The district offered to return Mona
to a regular junior high classroom for seventh grade. Her psychologist
determined this placement would not be appropriate for Mona. He guaranteed
the large classes would be too overwhelming and would cause her to further
shut-down. The district also refused to provide the occupational therapy
or social skills training recommended for Mona to be successful in school.
Her mother is currently in her second year of homeschooling
thirteen-year-old Mona. She has designed her own curriculum to meet her
daughter's needs. Both parents are still fighting to get appropriate
support services from their school district (occupational therapy, social
skills training, and speech therapy for language pragmatics). They have
gone through mediation and administrative hearing processes, without
favorable results. At this point in time, her mother doesn't see much hope
that Mona will ever return to public school. There simply isn't a program
available that will meet Mona's unique needs and their school district's
personnel remain uneducated about NLD.
A local homeschool group has helped Mona's parents deal with the
necessary county paperwork for homeschooling. Mona's mother reports that
several of the other students in this group are also individuals with NLD.
Her parents are currently looking for a high school placement that would
be appropriate for Mona, as they continue trying to work with the school
system. They report extreme frustration over all of the events which have
transpired.
Ryan
A brilliant straight-A student through the sixth grade, the limitations
caused by Ryan's NLD eventually "caught-up" with him in the
seventh grade. He plummeted from straight-A's to straight-F's during his
first semester of seventh grade. As one might imagine, his self-image also
took a nose dive. Although many meetings were held, the school staff
seemed only interested in holding Ryan "responsible" for his
educational failures. Ryan was disciplined at school for his neurological
incompetencies and told he was "lazy" and
"unmotivated." (Ryan had been spending between ten to twelve
hours per night on homework and catch-up work since third grade, sleeping
very little in the bargain. He is probably the most motivated
student I have ever met!).
When Ryan went from Principal's List to "probation," he was
illegally excluded from school activities, as a disciplinary measure.
Talks between his parents and school officials continued to wind around
and around, but never got anywhere. Finally, Ryan's mother agreed to
homeschool him, at the suggestion of the district's Special Education
Director. She was told this would offer Ryan a temporary respite, while
the staff at his regular school was provided with inservice training.
However, the district never did work with the school staff and
subsequently refused to allow Ryan back into school when he expressed a
desire to return. His mother had to enlist the aid of an educational
attorney. An IEP was then developed for Ryan, who returned to public
school in the eighth grade.
Douglas
It seems Douglas has always had problems in school, but for a long time
there was nothing specific that anyone could pinpoint. His mother reports
that a lot of his difficulties stemmed from his inappropriate responses to
social situations. Douglas couldn't pick up interpersonal cues and
nonverbal innuendos. Adults regarded him as "disrespectful" and
his peers manipulated him into doing things he shouldn't. In situations
which involved a number of individuals, Douglas was always the one who got
"caught." He was the perfect scapegoat for adults and peers
alike because he seemed unable to "size-up" a situation.
Douglas' parents were perplexed by his naivete.
By the middle of the seventh grade, Douglas had been labeled a
"bad kid" at his junior high school. His teachers expected the
worst from him and his peers "set him up." His mother reports
that Douglas was pulled out of class for "searches" (looking for
cigarettes or other illicit contraband) at least 30 times during that
school year. Even though nothing was ever found, these searches by
the school principal continued at a rate of about twice a week . Douglas
became so stressed by these occurrences, he began chewing on his shirt
collars. He would arrive home from school a nervous wreck, having
"eaten-up" half of his collar, and go right to his room to
sleep. Most of his time at home was spent sleeping. Douglas was diagnosed
as clinically depressed. It was around this time that his psychologist
also determined Douglas met the criteria for NLD.
Then, one day during the last week of school, one of his regular
teachers grabbed Douglas by the shoulder, ranting and screaming, and
slammed him up against the wall. Douglas sustained sizable bruises from
this altercation. His teacher rationalized her behavior by stating she
simply "blew-up" because she was "not receiving enough
respect from this child." This assault happened at the end of his
seventh-grade year. Douglas immediately went into a deep depression. His
parents couldn't get him to leave the house for three months
(agoraphobia). He was subsequently diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder (PTSD).
An IEP team meeting was held over summer, but the district refused to
provide any accommodations at school for Douglas. When school started-up
again in the fall, his mother requested a home instructor for Douglas,
because she felt his school was "not a safe place for him to
be." The home instructor was scheduled to come to their home, but
never showed up. So, by default, his mother decided to homeschool Douglas.
She took a leave of absence from her job in order to do this. Douglas has
now been placed in a small Special Day Class with six other students,
located at a different school from the one where he was assaulted by his
teacher, but his parents continue to struggle with the school personnel's
limited understanding of NLD [and the teacher who assaulted Douglas
continues to teach at his neighborhood school!].
Jessie
After being inappropriately placed in a special class set up for
students with emotional and behavioral disturbances, eleven-year-old
Jessie was traumatized by a stringent behavior modification program
(including physical restraints and a locked "time-out" box)
which failed to take into account the incompetencies created by her NLD
and Tourette's Syndrome. As a result of this treatment, Jessie was
subsequently hospitalized for several weeks. When she was released from
the hospital, her parents did not feel it was in her best interest,
healthwise or educationally, to return her to the inappropriate placement
offered by her school district. Both parents took medical leaves of
absence from their jobs in order to homeschool Jessie. They are currently
suing their school district for their lost wages.
Brian
A kindergarten screening revealed Brian had visual-spacial problems,
but his parents were told this was nothing to worry about. Nonetheless,
they noticed his difficulties in school and placed him in an outside
therapy program. Brian continued to struggle in school, although his IQ
placed him in the gifted range. By third grade he had been diagnosed with
"mild to moderate ADD." His parents requested accommodations,
but Brian was denied services by his school district because he was
"not failing." Then his parents placed him in a private school,
hoping the small class size would be of benefit to Brian. He continued to
struggle.
Finally, the summer after his fifth grade year, Brian's parents took
him to their local Children's Hospital for a neuropsychological
evaluation. He was diagnosed with NLD. For sixth grade, his parents placed
him in a private school which specialized in learning disabilities,
thinking his NLD would be accommodated there. But, Brian was "not
happy" at this school, and his parents report they "feared for
his safety" because of the acting-out behaviors of a number of the
other students. For seventh grade, Brian returned to his neighborhood
public school. His parents again requested special education services for
Brian and were denied. After hiring an attorney and going through due
process, an IEP was developed for Brian in the eighth-grade. He did fairly
well with the modifications indicated.
Unfortunately though, upon entering ninth-grade (his public highschool
was in a separate school district), Brian's teachers were not informed of
his NLD or his IEP. No steps were taken to ease his transition. After a
few days, Brian simply refused to return to school (school phobia). He
withdrew and "gave up." Feeling they had exhausted the private
schools in the area, his parents decided that homeschooling was the only
option they had left for Brian. Since they both worked, they hired a
graduate student to come to their home and provide home instruction to
Brian. He has been homeschooled for two years now, with his tutor
providing approximately ten hours of instruction per week.
Brian's parents are aware that their school district did not follow
federal law when they refused to provide him with a free appropriate
public education. When the decision of their administrative hearing
officer was not followed by their school district, they filed a complaint
and went to trial in District Court. Their case is currently being heard
in the Federal Court of Appeals (as I write). They estimate they have
spent over $90,000.00 in legal fees, trying to get their school district
to follow federal law. Their case may be ground-breaking for all students
with NLD. They know a decision may come too late for Brian, but hope that
other students with NLD who come after him will not have to suffer as he
has.
It should be noted that all of the students cited above began their
education in public schools. All of their parents had been put through
hell, to say nothing of the atrocities committed against their children,
prior to making the decision to homeschool their child. And, all of the
parents have worked hard to return their children to public placements,
with more appropriate programs. Although these are actual cases, all of
the children's names have been changed, for their privacy. The examples
cited here are primarily from California public schools, although Kentucky
and Maryland are also represented. Many are from cases where I have been
asked to provide expert testimony related to NLD.
Do's and Don'ts when making the decision to homeschool:
Do research homeschooling thoroughly. Also explore other options
you have to educate your child (alternative programs, transferring to
another school district, private placements, etc.).
Do be aware of the tremendous time and energy commitment needed to
homeschool. As you are probably already aware from other aspects of her
life, a child with NLD requires a lot of one-on-one verbal interaction.
Trying to extract a simple written paragraph from this child can be like
pulling teeth (believe me, after years of private educational therapy
practice, I know!). Understand before you commence: homeschooling a child
with NLD is going to be an arduous and time-consuming job. (This
may be one of the reasons so many educators resist making the necessary
modifications to this child's program).
Do make sure your child continues to receive the assessments and
support services to which she is legally entitled (speech/language
therapy, occupational therapy, educational therapy, auditory integration
therapy, counseling services, etc.) through your local school district.
Don't give up pursuing your Special Education rights under IDEA.
Every child in the United States is guaranteed a free appropriate public
education.
Don't let your school district off-the-hook. Put it in writing that
you still expect them to develop an educational intervention program which
will prove successful for your child.
Don't let homeschooling place your child in a situation where she
can avoid the social contacts which are so difficult for her. Make sure
she continues to participate in outside activities and has social
contacts, even if you have to make special arrangements for these
interactions to take place.
Don't expect that your child will always enjoy having you as a
teacher. As difficult as it may be to fathom, the adorable ten-year-old
who hangs on your every word is destine to turn into a surly
thirteen-year-old who wants to be as far away from you as possible. It is
natural for children to rebel against their parents during adolescence. If
you are that child's parent and her teacher, this can complicate
the normal maturation process. Homeschooling may not allow your child the
space necessary for her to develop her independence.
Above all, keep in mind that there are many excellent arguments in
favor of homeschooling and many successful adults who have been
homeschooled. But, homeschooling should not be a forced decision, enacted
by parents in order to save their child's life. If homeschooling is not
your first choice for your child's education, but your district's failure
to provide an appropriate educational program or placement for your child
has necessitated it, continue trying to work with your school district.
Even if your own child is not helped, you can hope that those with NLD who
come after him may be afforded a more receptive environment. A free
appropriate public education is a right supposedly guaranteed to
all children living in the United States. We need to question why so many
individuals with NLD have been left out of this equation?
Resources to help you begin homeschooling, once you've made your
decision:
This is just a brief list of the many resources available to the
beginning homeschooler.
Reference books for homeschoolers:
Home Education Resource Guide by Don Hubbs (BlueBird Publishing)
lists many homeschooling resources and some educational software
sources.
The Homeschool Reader by Mark and Helen Hegener (Home Education
Press) is a great reference, with articles covering the whole spectrum
of homeschooling .
The Homeschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith (Prima Publishing,
1997) offers a thorough overview of homeschooling. As the name of the
book implies, this is an excellent resource for the basic homeschool
library.
Homeschooling for Excellence by David and Micki Colfax (Warner
Books, 1988) explains how this well known (goat farm to Harvard...)
family provided an environment that fostered a strong love of learning
in their family. Also by these authors, Hard Times in Paradise
(Warner Books, 1992).
The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn (Lowry House,
1996). This author and former teacher tells how adolescents can get a
rich education outside of the standard system. She gives very practical
advice about learning resources that would be hard to find elsewhere.
You may also want to refer to her new book, Real Lives: Eleven
Teenagers Who Don’t Go To School, in which various teenagers tell
stories about their lives since leaving public school.
Big Book of Home Learning, Vol 1 by Mary Pride provides
everything you need to know to get started homeschooling.
Home School Manual by Ted Wade has sections on principles of home
education, choosing an educational framework, choosing curriculum,
specific areas of study and putting theory into practice.
Catalog Resources for homeschoolers:
American Home-School Publishing, Family Resource Guide and Discount
Catalog
Phone: 1-800-684-2121
Internet: http://www.doubled.com/ahsp
